I interrupt my usual family-oriented sharing today with a little something different.
Because I’ve got a story to tell you. And this is a story about us.
About you. About me. About the person pushing the stroller, carrying all the bags, carrying everything, even as we strive to make space for our own journey of healing and self-discovery
It starts like this…
“Her songs are compelling, but I just can’t get past her voice.”
This was the feedback I received when, as a young singer-songwriter, an album of mine found its way to an A&R person at a major label. (This was for my grown up singer-songwriter music, some years ago…)
At the time, it felt like a punch to the gut.
You might have thought I’d be used to it. After all, when you put yourself out there, being on the receiving end for negative comments is par for the course.
You might have thought I’d have a thicker skin.
And in some instances, I did.
Negative comments on my appearance didn’t phase me.
Negative comments on my songwriting, likewise, didn’t phase me.
My singing voice, though…
Now that was different.
After all, my voice was what it was. The voice I was born with.
In writing, I could be anyone – writing to sound like whichever songwriter I most admired at the time.
But in singing, well, I was just me.
So those comments felt personal, and they hurt.
Now, I’m not sharing all of this with you because I seek compensatory praise here.
I’m not looking for you to say something like, “Wow, how could anyone say that? You have a beautiful voice!”
I’m telling you this story because I want you to know that if you’ve ever struggled with self acceptance or confidence, vocally speaking, you are not alone.
You’re not alone if you’ve ever
– Wished your voice were different than it was
– Felt under-confident in self expression
– Taken on on other’s judgments of your vocal abilities
Or, (and this is the hardest one of all…)
– Felt so overexposed in the face of criticism that you simply shut down and stopped expressing.
AND… If you’ve ever felt any of these ways, I also want you to know this.
Your relationship to self expression is not set in stone. Here, as in everything, healing is possible.
How do I know?
I know because I’ve experienced it first hand.
Today, fifteen years into my own healing journey, I now have a totally different relationship to my voice.
Am I a better singer?
Probably not. (As Joan Baez said about singing in middle age and elder-hood, gravity affects everything as we get older, and voices are no exception. LOL)
What has changed is my mindset.
Today, I love my voice. Relish it, even.
Today, my voice is an instrument of joy and pleasure.
I love it in every season. I love it when it’s clear. I love it when it’s raspy. I love it in sickness and in health. The more imperfect it is, the more I love it.
Today, I understand that my voice is a channel, and like all channels, how it works depends entirely on how I interact with it.
The more I love it, the more it opens for me.
Sometimes my voice sounds beautiful to me. But most of the time, I honestly don’t much notice how it sounds.
Why?
Because now I am more focused on the felt experience of singing, of speaking, and on getting out of the way so that what needs to be expressed through me can come through.
What about you?
Where are you in your own journey of loving and accepting the precious voice you’ve been given?
How might it feel to remove the blocks to your own self expression? To feel more fully expressed in life, less hampered by doubt and fear?
If this is something you’re working on, then I’ve got a free resource to share with you today – something I made here in my home studio, drawing on twenty years experience as a recording artist and my expertise as a certified hypnotherapist. (My other life’s passion, alongside leading Noe’s Garden Magical Music Class!)
So – the resource I want to share with you is a brand new video, newly posted to a new YouTube channel I’ve just launched, this one devoted to my work as a spiritual counselor, working with adults and kids 9 and older. It’s a guided meditation to help heal your relationship to your voice.
The track doubles as a sleep hypnosis track, so the idea is, you put this on just before bed and get healing support for your journey off to dreamland.
I hope you’ll enjoy it. And if, after listening, you’d like to share your experience, I’d love to hear about it.
I always learn so much from how others experience an offering like this, and with many more meditations in the pipeline right now, I deeply value the kind of feedback that helps me grow in this work.